Semi-Fortnightly Ramble: PC Cleaning

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Semi-Fortnightly Ramble: PC Cleaning - OCD?

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Bradford Day
Kurtis

May. 19, 2005

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Semi-Fortnightly Ramble: PC Cleaning - OCD?

OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) - "a psychoneurotic disorder in which the patient is beset with obsessions or compulsions or both and suffers extreme anxiety or depression through failure to think the obsessive thoughts or perform the compelling acts." (Dictionary.com) Also see urban dictionary definitions.

Sorry, I know it's not been a fortnight since my last article. But if you look closely it does say SEMI-fortnightly ramble. Anyway, the reason for delinquency has mainly been my car - I've spent the last several weekends traveling to various vintage BMW car events. For example, one of the events I attended was the BMW Car Club and Vintage Club races at the Virginia International Raceway in Danville, VA. As part of the outing, the track allowed members of the BMW club to drive their cars on a few low speed so-called "parade" laps. We were limited to 55mph!I was only able to get up to 90 on the straight-aways before I had to slow down to keep from ramming the guy in front of me. Of course before I could attend this event, I had to wash my four-wheeled pride and joy so it looked its best. For most of you this probably entails a quick stop by the robo-wash or maybe a quick spray off with the garden hose and some dish soap. For me this relatively routine project includes specially formulated pin?a colada-scented automotive soap, a chamois to ensure a spot-free dry, a tire and wheel cleaner solution and a toothbrush. Keep in mind this is just for a quick wash. Waxing is an entirely separate ordeal.

But it was the toothbrush that got me thinking. On the morning of the event I woke up, put on my coveralls and set to washing my car. It was while I was scrubbing the brake dust off my rims with the toothbrush when I realized I had not yet brushed my own teeth!or even taken a shower for that matter. Yet, there I was scrubbing wheels with an old toothbrush and hand-bathing my 31 year old car. Laugh if you must, but I bet most of you who have read this far are as equally obsessive about your computers. See if any of this sounds familiar.

I will be the first to admit that I also have a small obsession with my computer. It doesn't extend quite as far as my automotive compulsion, but is well above what the average computer user experiences. For example, how many of you are guilty of dust cleansing fits? Do you systematically remove your computer case panels to dislodge the dusty bunnies when you notice your system temperature rises by 2 degrees? I've been known to clean each individual fin of my CPU heatsink with a Q-tip. Canned air is an agent of Satan. A Shop Vac with a custom made miniature nozzle is the only way to go. Who cares if my custom made nozzle was fashioned from an old bicycle pump hose and some cardboard tubes all lashed together with duct tape?

So in a flash of inspiration, I've come up with a list of handy computer cleaning products that all of us OCD cleaners can utilize to keep the innards of our favorite electronic buddy spic and span.

Q-tips: Handy for removing dust clods from heatsink fans and fins. Removing a little excess cotton helps to get into those hard to reach places.
Plastic hose: Small diameter hose is handy for creating smaller vacuum attachments that fit in tight spots for removing dust with a Shop Vac.
Old Toothbrush: Works well for stabbing at hard to reach dusties. Can also be used to clean car wheels and carburetors.
Double-sided tape: No longer just for cat hair and lint removal. Use this tape on the end of a pencil to nab little screws that have fallen behind the mobo, a good way to keep from having to use magnets for this job. Not a good idea to be waving magnets around you hard drives.
Voodoo Curses: Voodoo has long been known as the only means of supernaturally keeping your computer clean.
WD-40: I'm not sure what WD-40 will do for keeping your computer clean, but it seems to fix every other problem around the house. Give it a try.
A Starved Tiger and/or Badger: Keeping a guard animal(s) of some type will ensure that no one tries to sneak in and dirty up your machine whilst you aren't home. Starving the creatures for a week or two gives them an insatiable taste for human flesh. *TheTechLounge does not endorse starving animals. Although, poking them with a pointy stick is just fine and will produce basically the same effect.*
Human sacrifice: Not a requirement but Moltor, God of Computer Hygiene, does prefer human sacrifices to milk and cookies. I'm just sayin'. You don't want to upset Moltor.

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1 User Comment

1 - Posted by bigboy on May 22, 2005 - 10:26 pm

a 1inch wide paint brush for cleaning dust from keyboards, vid card, in between heatsinks.

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