Step 1: clean off desk
Step 2: find discarded processor
Step 3: upgrade HTPC with discarded processor
Step 4: South Park
Step 5: Error: Digital Cable device registration application has stopped working...
Step 6: Windows Security Component Upgrade fails
Step 7: find C:/ProgramData/Microsoft/DRM/, delete
Step 8: Error: Digital Cable device registration application has stopped working...
Step 9: navigate to C:/ProgramData/Microsoft/Windows/DRM/, folder nonexistent
Step 10: type in C:/ProgramData/Microsoft/Windows/DRM/
Step 11: Folder is empty.
Step 12: no, it isn't, you fucks

Step 13, and this is the important part when you're deleting double-secret, yes, I already set Explorer to show hidden files and folders, folders: run as Administrator

Step 13: cmd, rmdir /s C:/ProgramData/Microsoft/Windows/DRM/

man, i've seen this episode already

So, like, not cool, Microsoft. Not cool.

I do a lot of searches and keywords make all this a matter of muscle memory. Ctrl-L + g, Google. Ctrl-L + w, Wikipedia, + m, Google images, + a, Amazon, + n, Newegg... So removing my keyword searches and replacing them with Bing is about the smartest and most efficient way for me to never ever use it. Like a newb I'm binging for ways to restore Google as my location bar's default search engine. Why? Because it's about the only way I can think to tell Microsoft not to dick with my settings.

Oh yeah, and I did this whole messagy-bit.

Not only did it set me up to use Bing, it got rid of all but the first three keyword searches I'd set up. It may be an easy fix, if it worked but nope, it doesn't. Once again, I ask myself the question: what's more profitable, a search engine and a massive browser, or just neither.

There are enough crappy Chinese MP3 players to fill a toxic Shenzhen waste dump many times over, but the Oppo Muse G11, with its traditional d-pad and promise of 8-bit glories emulated: I want.

While some of the photos here clearly show a real device, you can see that modesty has inclined lil' Oppo to only be shown from the rear, save for in chaste rendering form. So hopefully the d-pad and traditional SNES/PlayStation four-button config makes it to the final stages of production. News today is pricing: 1099 yuan, or $160. That only appears to buy you a paltry 4GB, but throwing together a true emulation platform along with some pedestrian MP3 playing capabilities into decent-looking swivel-screen hardware doesn't sound like a bad idea to me.

I want my devices to multitask. Everyone does. When I travel, I bring my DSLR, my notebook, my DS, my PSP, my cell phone, and chargers for all devices. I don't shave, that's just one gadget too many. At press events, you'll see all the journos and sponsors looking shaggier and increasingly coffee-stained over the days, because clothes take a back seat to hardware.

I have chargers for all this crap and I resent them for it. Not because they consume power and have different power sources each, I'm fine with that and they all switch 110-240V, so I can (and have) MacGuyvered power to them all no matter what bizarre outlet I've faced. I resent them because they all only do one thing well. I can't (legitimately) play all my games without also dragging around their bulky media, and because of that, I find myself not gaming. If I feel like getting in some DS, you better believe the TV's on at the same time.

I want my cell phone to play my tunes, I want my cell phone to be my point-and-shoot. If my cell phone played ROMs, then I'd be hard-pressed to re-purchase Chrono Trigger, because I have my copies of the game and at least ROMs can port save games. I'll never buy a point-and-shoot for myself, it's too narrowly-purposed.

But there's a fine line. When a gadget's scope is too great, it becomes central and all things suffer. I would enjoy checking my email with my phone, but the ability to withstand my music library is more important. Suffice it to say, I still have my dedicated PMP.

And I still have my crappy phone.

Despite the first Mass Effect being billed as an Xbox 360 exclusive, famed developer BioWare tells Joystiq that it has "never confirmed any plans of Mass Effect exclusivity for the trilogy."

Though the sci-fi action-RPG later appeared on PC, the title is still considered an Xbox 360 exclusive in terms of the console market--meaning it has not appeared on rival systems PlayStation 3 or Wii.

PS3 guys, I'm going to ruin it for you. Mass Effect was a beautiful, plot-driven Cleavland steamer. With it's fantastic visuals, the game actually starts in on choppy when you're talking and smiling at the same time. The incredible voice acting insures that no matter what decisions you make, the actors say exactly the same thing and none of your decisions affect the game, and then at the very end, you can talk the boss into suicide. HAHA, spoiled!

But you see, that's not clever, it's, God damn necessary, since, you know what? there's no point in wasting your time fighting, everything after hour 4 you can pistol-whip to death. I know because I did that with my spy--who can use sniper rifles but not assault rifles. You do have to make a handful of chicken-shit decisions where you can pick some of your party to kill, which is fine because they're totally static and you don't care about them anyway. It's not like you don't have more pleasure girls on your battleship The Casual Encounter.

And I hope you like pointless, derivative, and dull minigames, oh yeah. There's only the two, but you get to do them, like, anytime you aren't having sex with a tentacle.

Making Gaming Better @ bit-tech.net
Buy the games
Piracy is a topic in itself. It goes without saying that devs need to eat and if a game doesn't sell you can kiss goodbye to support, sequels and similar games. If you are playing a game you haven't bought, you are invisible as far as the developer is concerned. Only by buying the games you like can you possibly encourage similar, good quality games to be made. And confront other people who are pirating games too. You are subsidising them getting free games, so make sure they know how you feel about such freeloading. People asking for cracks on developer forums are the worst of all – report them, and tell them it's not acceptable.

How to Fix PC Gaming Once and for All @ ExtremeTech
Fix the Piracy Problem or Shut Up About it
I, and a great deal of gamers, are so damn sick of hearing developers whine about piracy. Look, if it's that big a deal to you (and noting that unprotected sometimes make a killing), fix it. And I don't mean by making your CD keys 10 digits longer than they are now. In fact, you can shove those CD keys somewhere painful, because they obviously don't work. If you want to stop pirates, quit whining and use your heads. If you can program a game that takes up five gigabytes of my hard drive, you can figure out a way to make it uncrackable without forcing me to stand on my head and recite the alphabet backward to play it. Maybe online distribution is the key, with online components that, unless they're present, cripple the experience. I know that would piss off anyone without a decent online connection, but who cares?

What the hell is wrong with me!? I'm in complete agreement with ExtremeTech and, holy shit, Cliff Harris, you're a Goddamn pussy. If I can't act like a jerk online, I'll wither. And I'm not going to dick around trying to get Dwarf Fortress to work if I can just play some Bioshock.

So if you're reading this, and think that maybe playing an hour or two of Team Fortress after work just to tell a n00b that you fucked his mom with a pole* sounds like a great idea, kick it up a kick tonight--and maybe Cliff will just give up.

*you can all thank kurtis for introducing this idiom to my lexicon--it's pretty funny, after all

Insurmountable evidence points to the cause of the power outage: my neighbor's tree grounded a bolt of lightning. I thought it was peculiar that I could see the lightning and hear the thunder at the same time.

For being such a nice day, everything's wet. The whole city got hit by a flash flood and cars were shorted out at rush hour as far as the eye could see. It would have been funnier if my power wasn't killed by the same precipitate...

Apparently, it is unclear to the executives behind Transformers why we, and many other nerds, watched the show to begin with. We suppose the burden of responsibility falls on us to clarify: It's the giant robots fighting each other . In case you guys weren't sure–if, perhaps, it was neck and neck between robot-fighting and data analysis–we pray ours can be the deciding vote. When you have five loose-cannon robots, all of whom are just itching to fight other robots with or without a reasonable excuse, for Christ's sake, don't ruin every single one of them by sticking them together to make Nerdmotron 6000.

The most enlightening thing about this article was how all grown up Cracked is on the Internet.

That, and how could they not make fun of Cosmos? The dude transformed from a tiny green spaceship into a GoBot.

Independence day. The day we were all saved by one of the Quaids plowing right into the wang of a UFO. Also, we were saved by an Apple, what was it? A MacBook? 'Cause that Objective-C be tight. We shall never forget the day Jeff Goldblum stuttered, insisting we must go faster, and the downed Will Smith punched an alien instead of barbecuing. Long live the First Lady, re-born as the once-again dying--what I mean by that is she's dying--President of Battlestar Galactica.

This Friday, July 6th The Tatamimats will be doing an encore performance of "Dark Side of the Uke", their ukulele-only version of Pink Floyd's classic album "Dark Side of the Moon". The show takes place at The Knockout in San Francisco and is in celebration of The Knockout's 2nd anniversary. The Knockout is in the venue that was previously Chicken John's infamous Odeon Bar.

I heartily recommend that anyone who enjoys "Dark Side of the Moon" check out "Dark side of the Moon 2001" by Out of Phase.

But this is definitely as cool as While My Guitar Gently Weeps on the "uke". Of course, the guy looks like his mom was a Muppet and his dad was a bottle of cologne.

All citizens please move to quarantine in Sector 1, District 1. Please have your identification ready. In the meanwhile, pay attention to the brief playing on the monitors. Welcome home!

So Digg did something that protected their interests, so that they could continue to earn their living and all that and not get crushed by the DMCA. I have little issue with that. To be honest, I've been ignoring what's going on with the HD-DVD key and Digg and the people who love/hate them.

I really hate how many people are calling this an "Internet Riot".

Let's go past the fact that if this were a riotous event spawned by Internet activity, there would still be people, all over the world, smashing cars, flipping them over, destroying public places and damaging any and all property at arm's reach. That's not even what's going on symbologically. I may have made up that word. The point is that Digg isn't getting demolished, other neighboring social networks aren't suffering any wandering flames, and most importantly, the FBI isn't hunting down any out-of-control script kiddies.

This isn't a riot, nothing's in need of rebuilding, and honestly, I think most people have kind of changed the subject already. We just saw a bunch of Internet monkeys flinging poo. We've all done it before, (metaphorically, dear God I mean metaphorically) but if we plan on living near this series of tubes we're going to have to ignore this stuff.

For the next couple of weeks, though, we're going to see a lot of people who are crapping into their palms as I write this--Ars, don't think I'm not looking in your direction--but Jesus, it's just a website. You can ape up for the next round of high-level scat-slinging, or, you know, go outside, it's spring, and all beautiful 'n' stuff.

For the first time in my life I will endorse World of Warcraft as the better pastime.