This Chuck Norris box art could be so bad-ass that it actually off-sets the fact that Chuck Norris Bring On the Pain is coming to a cell phone. Oh, did I mention that the chief bad guys are Fidel Castro and Kim Jong-il? That's right you better go out and buy a replacement phone now, because this one is going to KILL your current phone.

According to Gameloft, the game has Norris taking on a rogue Soviet army in an attempt to save POWs from Cambodia. Next he has to save America from invasion. That's right, it makes no sense, but that's how Norris rolls. Gameloft calls the game a "hilarious dive into the life of the legend - martial arts action, denimclad justice, and going commando!" And by hilarious I'm sure Gameloft means kick-ass... unless they want Norris to snap their company over his knee.

The Chuck Norris legend has finally come to us in video game form. The box says, and I quote, that "Chuck Norris decided to make a movile game so he can hit the bad guys with so many lefts, that they beg for a right!" But, be warned, because "even a digital Chuck Norris may cause severe injury to friends." Who makes this stuff up? Oh, that's right, the Internet! I bet Gameloft went to this site and came up with the game concept on the spot. Who cares who he is fighting?

If Old Ironbeard dons the full Jean Suit get-up in this game, I will buy it. Even if I don't have a compatible phone. After all, who do you know who can slam a revolving door? Chuck Norris, that's who. Who do you know who can kill two stones with one bird? Chuck Norris, that's who.

Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb. Remember that.