Packing centimeter and angle measurements along with a few cute grids that we're fairly certain are just for grids' sake, the only flaw with the measurement gloves is that they're fabricated from stretchy knit that will skew your data. Then again, the blood, boogers, hamburger grease aren't doing anything to help readings, either. Seriously, throw your gloves in the wash already. And stop picking at your scabs, nose and that dumpster behind Wendy's already.

Best gloves since sliced bread, because sliced bread just isn't cutting it anymore.

Seriously, I've been trying sliced bread to solve a lot of problems, and so far, nothing helps much. Body armor? Nothing. Air-bag filler? Face fulla mold. Money? Couldn't fit in the wallet. I had some sliced bread that I used for croutons in a salad, but forgot to add them, so apparently, it's not even good for bread-intentioned purposes.

omitted from text: hat? it got a little stale...