Swine Flu Was Genetically Manipulated to Target Conspiracy Theorists
It's true: If you own a tin hat, you're ten times more likely to contract the virus. Seriously, though, could the Internets please stop forwarding those increasingly out-of-context videos of Dallas County medical director John Carlo? In some recent interviews, Carlo referred somewhat clunkily to culturing samples of H1N1 in the laboratory. This quote is now being used as "evidence" in a delightful meme claiming that H1N1 is a man-made virus, wholly created in the laboratory. As Carlo himself has pointed out, that is not remotely the case. In reality, those video quotes are actually Carlo referring to the common practice of taking samples of a virus and growing it in the lab until you get enough of the virus that you can analyze the thing. That's how researchers learn what makes a specific virus unique and how they figure out ways to combat it. Scientists studying cultured samples of a naturally-occurring virus =/= evil plot to create a man-made super-virus. Please, tell your friends.
Yeah, that's just silly. We all know that the swine flu has been cultured and designed by dolphin separatists set on domination and subjugation of mankind. They will need us to build them worldwide above-ground tunnel networks to every attraction ever made or discovered. (For conquest-bound mammals, they're kinda touristy.)
What, you think the tsunamis were
natural disasters? How else do you think the dolphins were going to get their fins on some sweet, sweet swine?
don't forget, you can track the swine flu via google maps!